Friday, March 31, 2006

Happy America First Day!

Today, March 31st, is America First Day, the day when College Republicans all across campus celebrate the fact that Cesar Chavez wanted to deport illegal immigrants.

Last year, the whole campus got involved in the holiday. For those of you who missed out on the festivities, I'll provide a brief recap.

Pat Buchanan, the former presidential candidate and author, spoke on campus about how he agrees with Cesar Chavez that illegal aliens should be deported. His speech helped to unite a diverse audience and bring us closer together, as everyone in the audience found something to applaud.

Unfortunately, one of the revilers got a little out of control, spilling his handy mug of salad dressing all over Buchanan while he raced up the aisle for a closer view of the action. The mowhawked malefactor ended up spending ten days in jail and being assessed thousands of dollars in fines.

Earlier in the day, fun-loving women's studies matriarch Edith Fisher got in on the action. She playfully assaulted a member of the College Republicans in a fashion reminiscent of how Cesar Chavez's union enforcers assaulted illegal aliens who tried to break into the country to do the work that Chavez's union wanted to do.

Fisher couldn't contain her excitement, screaming and wildly waving a Mexican flag in her classroom. She then continued the celebration:

""In celebration of Cesar Chavez Day, I had a Mexican flag with me in the classroom propped up in front of the window," Fisher said in the letter. "I attached the flag to the poster, symbolically forcing it through Buchanan's face."

Shortly after she started class, a man, later identified as Hall, entered Fisher's classroom and attempted to walk toward the poster, according to Fisher.

"I was scared," Fisher said. "It felt like my classroom was under siege.""

This followed a ripping-down-of-the-flyers, a traditional activity on campus. (This post by Dan Flynn provides a round-up of the action, and this is an update.)

Overall, America First Day 2005 was truly a day to remember!

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